The MHPT people go to Momoko's Sanctuary
by Momoko
Summary: Do any of you HP fans remember Godric's Hollow? It was a site at homestead but it has shut down. I wrote this right before it closed down and never got to write any other chapters. it is a dead fic, but it's kind of funny, but wierd. PG for attempted Snap


This is a rather strange self-insertion fiction.  
  
(Yes, self insertion-the evil of all fan fictions)  
  
It takes place in the pocket bishounen/bishoujo universe.  
  
(For info, go to www.pocket-bishounen.com)  
  
Basically I, the all powerful fan fiction author  
  
(No, Voldie, you're not all powerful. *almost* but not quite), have taken all of the  
  
Theater victims and Scott out of the theatre and have unceremoniously dumped them in my back yard.  
  
(ahhh... the power of fan fiction).  
  
Anyways, this fan fiction was written under the influence of skittles, coca cola, and espresso.  
  
(O.O - hyperness{Yes Hermione, I know that 'hyperness 'is not a real word, neither is 'expelliarmus' :P)  
  
I will have Hermione and her parents know, for their mental sanity, that I brushed my teeth after every inducement of large amounts of sugar/coffee in between regular brushings. So you have no excuse to freak out.  
  
A message to Snape and Dragon-boy(that's you Draco): PREPARE FOR THY DOOM!!!!  
  
And now, for an explanation. I've been really crabby lately, mainly because both of the ear-rests on my glasses have broken off and I have been forced to either tape my glasses to my forehead or go without them. And believe you me, I'm not a very happy person when reminded of this fact. Severus and Dragon-boy's constant defilement of Ron's family have annoyed me. I also have been just annoyed by you guys. *Glares menacingly at Snape* Particularly YOU Severus.  
  
Draco's okay when you consider a banshee and a dementor soul copy from the seven layers of hell have raised him. Fleur, even though I'm ticked off at Dragon-breath, for his sake in the beginning you run off with a pocket-bishounen.  
  
(^_^' overly long sentence, sorry Hermione.)  
  
(You run off with one of the Quatre Rabera Winner breed to be exact. He's from an anime called Gundam Wing for those who didn't know. And you don't run off with MINE! *Insert overly scary menacing glare here*)  
  
And about the evil thing, I'm not really good, but I'm not really evil. *Sigh* I'm a borderline case. There are just a few more warnings and the disclaimer before I go on with the story.  
  
(Off subject: I like parentheses ^_^)  
  
Lord Voldemort, you are NOT permitted to zap the screen. If you do, I'll be showing some remarkably embarrassing pictures of your first, third, and fourth birthdays  
  
(You know the ones I'm talking about *smiles fiendishly*)  
  
Severus' warning: behave, or else I'll PERSONALLY force-feed you both a pain potion and a love potion. And you'll fall in love with McGonnagle, either that or Aunt Marge. *smiles wickedly again*  
  
Dragon-boy's warning: leave Ron alone, or else Mr. Bubbles will be given to my baby brother.  
  
*Holds up the teddy bear for emphasis*  
  
*Is feeling biased towards Ron, Harry & Mrs. Norris today(in a good way[well, good for them anyway])*  
  
Fleur's warning: Move two rows back and sit behind Ron. He's not a bad guy, despite being a socialist. Now no offense, but let's just say it's not my cup of tea.  
  
Hermione's Warning: I might type 'H-sama" because it's shorter than Hermione. {No offense meant}  
  
Mrs. Norris' warning: -nothing-! she's too cool to have a warning!(Scratch Fleur for me, will you?)  
  
Disclaimer: I own virtually nothing.  
  
*Clutches her ferret(yes Malfoy, I have a pet ferret), Her Duo-bishounen and her five cents*  
  
So leave my stuff alone!  
  
*Duo looses consciousness*  
  
Oh dear.... Duo-chan? Duo-chan?..... while I wake him up, you guys read the fic... -_-'  
  
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"Scott, where are we?" asked Hermione. For some surreal reason, they had all dropped out of the theatre floor and into a rose garden. The garden was completely walled in aside from a single entrance. The walls themselves were made from a strange but beautiful aquamarine marble. Fleur, Snape and Draco had landed in a patch of exceedingly thorny pink roses. Fleur rose from the bushes wailing.  
  
"Did you hurt yourself fleur?" asked Ron concernedly, while biting his lip.  
  
(Do you SEE!? HE CARES ABOUT YOU FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!)  
  
"No... it is just... MY BEAUTIFUL SILVERY HAIR!! Mon cher, will you comfort me?" Draco gagged and Ron looked hurt.  
  
"No!" and he promptly turned his back on her, and cuddled Mrs. Norris  
  
"Are you alright?" he cooed. Mrs. Norris mewed happily and rubbed her head against Draco's arm while purring. Fleur looked like she was going to scream.  
  
"You-! You-! You man thieving scrawny excuse for a cat!" Mrs. Norris hissed at Fleur's idiotic remark, but before she could scratch Fleur to ribbons, a voice came from the entrance.  
  
"Now, now, we'll have none of that here. I don't want any more of my roses ruined." a girl who looked about sixteen stepped from the shadowy gate. She had long golden-brown hair and rhombus (That's a rounded rectangle for those who don't know geometry very well) shaped glasses perched in front of green/gray eyes with a streak of hazel towards the top of her iris.  
  
She was trailed by five figures. When the silhouettes came into the lantern- light, the theatre victims gasped. Sephiroth, Mirai no Trunks, Seifer Almasy, Quatre Rabera winner, and Link were revealed to be the people following the girl.  
  
"Atashi-wa Momoko.... Anyone calls me peach and I'll beat the crap out of you." she glanced about in confusion as she got no response. She followed Draco's slack-jawed gaze to Sephiroth and giggled.  
  
"I apologize, I haven't introduced everyone properly. This is Sephy-kun, Tru-chan, Sei-kun Qu-kun and Rinku."  
  
Each man groaned at his nickname.  
  
"Momoko-hime, we can introduce ourselves." Sephiroth said. She stuck her tongue out at him & turned back to the group.  
  
"Wait a second... " She counted the strangers and frowned darkly. "You two weren't supposed to come." she gestured at a drooling fleur and a bristling Snape. Fleur stood there, her shoulders slumped, staring at Quatre. Quatre shifted uncomfortably under the young French girl's stare while Momoko scowled.  
  
"Back off girl. NOW!!!" Fleur glared at Momoko and turned to Draco.  
  
"You are no longer mon cher.... 'e is!" she said, pointing to Quatre.  
  
"You can't. He's my bishounen." Fleur looked at Momoko in confusion.  
  
"??? 'e is your effeminate boy?" Now it was Momoko who was confused, then realization dawned on her and she laughed.  
  
"The direct translation of 'bishounen' is 'beautiful boy'. many people say that it means 'handsome guy' instead of an effeminate boy. And as to why I called him mine, in this dimension-" But before she could finish Snape interrupted her.  
  
"What do you mean, 'this dimension'?" All five bishounen drew their weapons and pointed them at Snape. In other words, three swords(one of them is 6' long!), a gunblade and a pistol were all aimed at Snape's head. Snape glowered at them and reached for his wand, only to find that it wasn't there.  
  
"What the-?" when he looked up from the pocket of his robes, he saw a very curious sight. Momoko was hugging what looked like a toddler. As it turned out, it was a chibi-squall... with everyone's wands in his hands. Momoko absently cooed to chibi-squall,  
  
"Well, aren't you a light-fingered little cutie! That's my adorable little thief!" she turned back to the 'guests' hesitantly.  
  
"C'mon, boys, he's no longer a threat. And he didn't mean to insult me," the bishounen lowered their weapons slowly and she continued.  
  
"I took you guys away from old'n'moldy Voldie's tortuous theatre for a sort of vacation. I would have gotten you away from there permanently, but I knew Scott would miss his father," Scott nodded sagely, "Mrs. Norris would never be able to see Filch again, Harry would miss Sirius, Ron would miss his family and H-sama would miss her family as well." Scott raised an eyebrow as she set chibi-squall down.  
  
"H-sama?"  
  
"I just get tired of saying 'Hermione' all of the time. Anyway, back to my explanations. I also knew that H-sama would have been miserable without Scott, so he was necessary." Harry's optimistic face instantly changed into that of a person who has known pure heartbreak. Trunks put his hand on Harry's shoulder.  
  
"We've heard... about your 'history' with this girl..." Harry merely concentrated on his shoes, trying to ignore the prickly sensation in the corners of his eyes.  
  
"C'mon, Harry." Ron said, "Cheer up..." Harry offered him a weak smile and turned to Momoko.  
  
"So... how did you get Voldemort to let us stay here?" At this, Momoko smirked.  
  
"I have my ways... one of them being that what was once his pet snake is now mine"  
  
"You kidnapped Nagini?!" Asked a horrified Scott, " Dad will kill you!" Momoko scowled again.  
  
"First of all, I didn't kidnap Nagini, she came willingly. Second of all, your father doesn't have the power to kill a fan fiction writer; we can do too much to him. For example we could..."  
  
"Do what exactly?" inquired Ron.  
  
"I could make him dance the hokey-pokey in a pink tutu and bunny slippers if I wanted to." Draco started sniggering.  
  
"What's so funny, boy? " Scott growled, his voice quiet and deadly, he quite resembled his father at this time. Draco's eyes widened and he fell silent. H-sama gazed at Scott in wonderment.  
  
"Wow, I didn't know you could do that."  
  
"I would only do that for my father or you, Hermione."  
  
"Why did you bring us through the floor? we weren't exactly ready... we had just finished a fic." Ron quickly said, responding to the look on Harry's face.  
  
"Ah.. well, you see... Voldie planned to put off the vacation as much as he could, so he gave me the excuse that you were all in the viewing room... So I took you from there."  
  
"How? Dad said he had put all sorts of counter-transportation spells on the theatre."  
  
"He did, but mine is a different type of magic. The specific spell I used is very outdated, maybe he thought that no-one would use it, considering how old it was."  
  
"How long has it been since that spell went out of style?" Asked H-sama. Momoko pondered this for a moment and then answered, smiling slightly,  
  
"Oh...'Round about three thousand years." every witch/wizard there face faulted and the bishounen sweat dropped.  
  
"But you're sixteen!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"No, I'm fourteen." She said indignantly.  
  
"How did you find out about it?"  
  
"Tomes."  
  
"Tomes?"  
  
"Yes, ancient tomes... Hey, where's Ginny?" Snape jabbed his thumb backwards, seemingly imitating a hitchhiker. The group's eyes fell on the prone body of Ron's little sister.  
  
"Ginny!" Ron shouted and he ran over to her, shaking her shoulders and shouting something indecipherable.  
  
(Don't try H-sama.)  
  
"OGODOGODOGOD!!!GINNYPLEASEWAKEUPMOMWILLKILLMEIFSHEFINDSOUTTHAT THISHAPPENEDPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEWAKEUPIWILLMAKEHARRYGOOUTWITHYOUIFYOUWILLJUSTW AKEUPIWILLGIVEYOUAMILLIONCHOCOLATEFROGSWAKEUPWAKE UPWAKEUP!!!" Suddenly, a deep voice echoed  
  
through the garden  
  
"RON, CALM DOWN!" the voice abruptly changed when Ron froze, and the voice was revealed to be Momoko's.  
  
(awkward sentence, sorry again H-sama)  
  
"That's better. Now, let me have a look at her... hmm.... she'll be okay, she will just have a bump on her head and a few bruises. Tru-chan, could you go get a stretcher of some sort please?"  
  
"Hai, Momo-chan." and he walked off.  
  
"Momoko-hime," said Sephiroth, "Are you sure that this is the original?" he gestured towards Snape. "He could be the one we've been having trouble with."  
  
"What do you mean 'the original'?" Snape growled.  
  
"Here there is a Snape-bishounen who has been trying to poison some of my harem."  
  
"HAREM????" H-sama and Fleur shouted in unison.  
  
"That was what I was trying to explain before big ol' oily here," she pointed at Snape, " interrupted me." Snape glowered stonily at Momoko and prepared to shoot a snide remark her way when a particular Masamune- wielding bishounen nearly lopped his head off.  
  
"SEPHIROTH!!! THAT'S ENOUGH!!.... Sephiroth, as a matter of fact, was one of the first members... so to speak."  
  
"then.... that handsome boy there is yours?" Asked Fleur, her bottom lip quivering.  
  
"Yes, Qui-kun is a member of my harem."  
  
"I... I... I will not believe it! Prove that you're not hers, mon cher!" Draco smiled.  
  
"*FINALLY* that annoying phrase isn't directed towards me!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Ms. Delacour, but I am hers."  
  
"Prove it!" as these words left Fleur's lips, a mischievous smile took residence on Quatre's normally innocent face.  
  
"Now, Qu-kun, you know how the other boys feel about- mmmph!" The matronly image Momoko was attempting disappeared the instant Quatre's lips touched hers. The other three bishounen there glared at Quatre as he wrapped his arms around Momoko's quivering shoulders.  
  
"All right, that's enough. Get a room you two" Ron said, and they promptly parted. Scott glared at him and said,  
  
"Way to go, smart ass."  
  
"Why did you say that?" H-sama said, her brows furrowed.  
  
"I just don't like it when someone ruins romance, even if it's not ours."  
  
"Oh, Scott, that's so sweet."  
  
"Now don't YOU two start!" said Ron. Every person there glared at him, aside from Harry.  
  
"Anyway.... even if I don't want you people here, I'm obliged to offer you room and board. Let's get back to the mansion."  
  
"Good lord, how rich are you?" asked Ginny. Everyone stared at her.  
  
"Ah, sleeping beauty wakes!" Momoko said, her eyes sparkling with withheld laughter. "How did you get knocked unconscious anyway?"  
  
"well... I was all right until I heard something about someone called H- sama.. and... And then I heard something about Harry having a... a... a 'history' with a girl... so I fainted." Ron gave Ginny a quizzical look.  
  
"You fainted because you heard someone say that Harry's already had a girlfriend?"  
  
"It was because... I was reminded that I wasn't that girl!" and Ginny promptly started wailing. The people around sweat dropped. Then Seifer said,  
  
"You didn't answer her question Momo-chan." Momoko glared at Seifer briefly as Ginny stopped wailing.  
  
"I lived with my parents until I got my bishounen license, then I traveled around a bit and earned some money. My bishounen didn't think I was earning enough... well, they were right, I barely scraped along," she said. H-sama looked slightly confused.  
  
"Why was it so hard for you to make money?"  
  
"Ponder this, I had to get food for thirty-one young men with... *ahem* healthy appetites, as well as myself."  
  
Just then, Trunks was coming back with a stretcher, but noticed Ginny was up.  
  
"Oh, sorry about that, Tru-chan"  
  
"Quite alright, Momo-chan, it's a capsule."  
  
"Okay, lets go, shall we? I'll say how I earned my money as we go." She picked up the chibi-Squall and put him on her shoulders. The path was rather dark, but the lights flickering in the distance were that of a large house.  
  
"One day, after I had been looking for food, there was a young bishounen trainer crying. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was having trouble catching a bishounen. I decided that I would just catch the bishounen and give it to her. When I did, she ran off, but had left an envelope with my name on it. I'm not one to normally take charity, but she probably thought it wasn't charity. So I started a business of helping out beginners so they can get better."  
  
As the others pondered this, she went inside.  
  
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I ended it at an awkward point... oh well. Bai bai! 


End file.
